Relationships are central to human life, bringing deep connection, interdependence and often conflicting emotions. Relational ambivalence, the experience of mixed feelings towards someone close, is a natural part of family, romantic and friendship dynamics.
Formed in early childhood, attachment styles influence how we navigate relationships. Secure attachment tends to foster healthier, more stable connections, while anxious or avoidant attachment may contribute to ambivalence and relational difficulties. Navigating these tensions requires self-awareness and strong boundaries. Healthy relationships begin with understanding ourselves and working towards more secure connections.
I support individuals navigating relationships, including romantic ones, but do not offer couples therapy.
Hi, I’m Alicja. I’m an English-speaking attachment therapist in Lisbon, specialising in helping expats, digital nomads and international residents understand their attachment styles and work through attachment issues that can affect relationships, self-esteem and emotional wellbeing. In my view therapy shouldn’t mean endlessly analysing your attachment style or relationships. Instead, by combining person-centred counselling with body-brain approaches like Brainspotting, we can explore the deeper patterns behind anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, fear of rejection, difficulty trusting others or feeling insecure in relationships. Together, we create a non-judgemental space to develop greater self-awareness, emotional security and healthier connections.
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This depends on the nature of the relationship (a family member, a romantic partner or a friend) but this can be helpful in most instances:
01
Explore your relationship feelings in a safe, non-judgemental space. Counselling provides a supportive, non-judgemental space where you can talk openly about your feelings and experiences within your relationships, whether with a family member, romantic partner or friend.
02
Feel understood through empathic relationship therapy. Your therapist offers empathy and works with a “dual attunement” approach, providing both relational and neurological attunement to help you feel understood and supported.
03
Explore difficult emotions and process unresolved experiences. Your therapist can encourage you to explore your emotions and better understand what you experience in your relationships through talk therapy and brain-body therapy called Brainspotting.
04
Understand your emotional needs and establish healthy boundaries. Your therapist can support you in discovering your needs and boundaries in relationships, helping you develop greater self-attunement and awareness of what matters to you.
05
Build self-worth and make healthier relationship choices. Through your therapist’s unconditional acceptance, you can gradually develop a stronger sense of self-worth. Greater self-esteem can help you make healthier choices in relationships, including setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries.
06
Connect with your authentic self and feel more fulfilled. Your therapist can support you in discovering your genuine self. Becoming more authentic can reduce psychological tension and help you feel more fulfilled in your personal life and in your roles as a parent, partner or friend.
07
Learn to manage emotional triggers in relationships. Together with your therapist, you can explore new ways of coping with difficult relationship situations, including learning to regulate your nervous system when you feel emotionally triggered.
08
Experience healthy boundaries, respect and trust in therapy. Your therapeutic relationship can provide an opportunity to experience and explore important relationship qualities, including boundaries, respect, trust and acceptance of another person.
09
Understand your attachment style and relationship patterns. Relationship therapy can help you gain valuable insight into your attachment style and understand how it influences the way you relate to others and navigate close relationships.
10
Understand your feelings and make sense of relationship difficulties. Your therapist can offer psychoeducation to deepen your understanding of your feelings, validate your experiences and help you recognise that what you are going through is understandable. This may include exploring boundaries and relational ambivalence.
I aim to respond within 24h, Mon to Fri. For urgent support, find public health helpline numbers here.
Rua Alexandre Herculano 19, 1250-008 Lisboa
Nearest Metro stations: Avenida and Marquês de Pombal.
